Still Not Enough — The Hidden Exhaustion of Chasing Your Worth
You keep trying to get there, to get it right — to achieve more, earn approval, finally feel like enough. But what if there is no “there” there?
A Day in the Life (That Might Be Yours)
You wake up already behind.
Respond to a text. Try to sound helpful.
Skip the pause. Scroll instead.
Smile when you don’t feel like it.
Try to be enough. Try to matter. Try not to fall behind.
And under it all?
“You should be farther by now.”
“You need to prove something.”
“If they like you, you’re okay.”
That’s the ego talking.
It sounds like you.
But it’s not.
But You Weren’t Born Like This
Babies don’t hustle to be loved.
They don’t try to earn their worth.
They cry, poop, sleep — and still, they are held.
Fed. Cared for. Looked at like they matter.
That’s not because of what they do.
It’s because of who they are.
From the very beginning, the body knows:
“I am worthy just by being.”
So What Changed?
Over time, something shifts.
You’re praised for being quiet.
Criticized for being messy.
Celebrated when you win.
Dismissed when you don’t.
Love starts to feel conditional. Care begins to depend on behavior.
And your nervous system starts to wonder:
“Maybe who I am isn’t enough.
But what I do might be.”
That’s when the ego steps in. Not to hurt you — to protect you.
It’s not a flaw.
It’s a set of protective voices your system built
to help you survive, belong, and avoid pain.
You don’t need to fight the ego.
You don’t need to get rid of it.
You just don’t have to let it drive.
It says:
“If I can control how you act,
I can keep you from shame.
I can help you earn approval.
I can keep you safe.”
So it builds strategies:
Be impressive → get love
Be quiet → stay safe
Be useful → earn belonging
And it works — sometimes.
But the cost?
You trade your being for doing.
And forget that your worth was never something to earn.
Welcome to the Train Station
Every thought is a train.
Every train is a story about your worth.
“They’re judging me.”
“You should’ve done more.”
“You’re not enough.”
Your ego wants you to board those trains.
Each one promises a destination called “Finally Okay.”
But that train never gets there.
What If You Just Stayed on the Platform?
The ego isn’t bad — it’s just scared.
It’s trying to keep you safe by keeping you impressive.
But when you stop chasing worth through its stories, something else happens.
Nothing.
And in that nothing?
Your body starts to trust that maybe… you’re okay as you are.
Because if you’re not scrambling for approval —
maybe there’s nothing to earn.
That’s how intrinsic worth builds.
Not by doing something extra,
but by doing less of what never worked.
The Mirror, the Flower, and the Feathers
Imagine your worth is a mirror.
Still. Clear. Quietly holding something beautiful.
And inside that mirror?
A flower.
Whole. Radiant. Already in bloom.
But one day, the whispers begin:
“Be better.”
“Don’t mess it up.”
“Make them like you.”
Each whisper becomes a feather in the air —
light, constant, impossible to catch.
You reach for them. Try to swat them. Try to obey.
And the more you engage, the more they stir.
Eventually, there are so many feathers (ego-driven thoughts) floating around the mirror
that you can’t see any reflection.
Not because you’re broken —
but because you believed the chase would work.
And the ego says:
“Just try a little harder.
Then you’ll see the flower again.”
But that day never comes.
Because the chase is what clouds the view.
When you stop grabbing…
stop swatting…
stop needing to do something…
The feathers fall.
The mirror clears.
And you remember:
The flower was always there. You just lost sight of it through the feathers.
So What’s the Real Move?
You don’t have to become worthy.
You already are.
But your body might not believe that yet.
Not because it’s broken — but because it’s been taught to earn.
So the work isn’t to force a new belief.
It’s to gently stop feeding the old one.
Each time your ego says “prove it,”
and you don’t jump to perform —
you’re giving your body a new message:
“You’re okay without hustling.
You’re safe without fixing.”
And over time?
That message starts to sink in.
Not because you finally earned it —
but because you stopped trying to.
That’s how your nervous system begins to remember what it knew all along:
“I am worthy… because I am.”
Your value doesn’t come from what you do.
It comes from what remains when you stop outsourcing it.
Tomorrow’s Deeper Dive for Paid Subscribers
If today’s piece helped you see the flower, tomorrow’s is here to help you stay with it.
For paid subscribers, we’ll share a gentle follow-up:
A set of real-life integration practices to help you pause before performing, stay present when the old urgency pulls, and remember your worth in the middle of a messy day.
You’ll get:
Body-based grounding tools
A 60-second S.T.O.P. reset
Soft scripts for “train station” moments
And a quiet reminder: You’re already enough
No extra work.
No pressure to get it right.
Just small ways to return—over and over.
If you’d like that support, you’re warmly invited to join us as a paid subscriber.